January 2012
11 posts
AP opent persagentschap in Noord-Korea →
A few days old, but it’s looking like North Korea’s starting to see the light (coming through the hole in their defence).
“Out with the umlauts and in with the throat pastels.”
– John Warner, on crossing the border between Germany and Nederland
“Of course I would moan like that [as well] if I had a big cock up my arse.”
– My manager, watching pornography for ‘work reasons’
“[…] but I’m not sure. Would it be easier if I get a black card and...”
– My manager (bless ‘im), Nelson
May an infinite number of ill-bred fortune seekers... →
1 tag
Glad to see Crossrail's going to reuse the... →
“Traditional English will annoy no-one and please many.”
– Rick Thompson, ‘Writing for Broadcast Journalists’
2 tags
I can’t believe Starred items aren’t automatically synced on the Google Mail Android app. While you may not want your *entire* Inbox or Sent Messages collection, which is where the “sync 4 days” option comes in handy (though I set mine to 7), you damn sure *expect* all starred items to be synced. I’m starring this email to remember to deal with it - I could be on...
December 2011
7 posts
Might write another book: "Things my manager...
Manager's mother: So I found your inflatable dildo today... the one with the– *imitates pumping*
My manager: Urm–
Manager's mother: What happens when you pump it?
My manager: Well, it grows.
Manager's mother: But it's already so big!
When you ask for English Breakfast and someone...
“I asked for English Breakfast.” “Well they’re both black teas, no?” “Beef and pigeon are both meats. What’s your point?”
Up at 10.30 to prep for BBC
capnraccoon:
It’s 6.10am. Shiiit; hope my voice isn’t ripped to shit, sort of need it. Also gotta switch to presenter mode, I.e no cussing, dot the t’s, cross the i’s, etc.
Might post iPlayer link when it goes up, depending on how it goes :D
Good f-ing luck, my friend.
Totally about to have kaassouflés
I’m not liking these new(ish) ‘social reader’ applications from newspapers on Facebook. I like to pretend that humanity doesn’t consist almost entirely of sheeple who click on sensationalist headlines. I know it’s human curiosity but it still makes me think a little less of the people who I associate with if I know what kind of filth they’re reading.
November 2011
13 posts
When you're listening to a nice hairy jam with...
Because the ferries aren’t operating tomorrow, I’m trying to shift all my ‘inside’-y things to do to tomorrow and do outside-y things today, but apart from Christmas shopping and shopping for food, I have no idea what to do; but I don’t know what any of my family wants for Christmas.
Something not really interesting but fuck it; I'm...
Alright… interesting would be pushing it a little, but did you know that there’s only one railway station in the Netherlands that begins with an ‘f’?: Franeker. [nl] [fy]
1 tag
Comparing Wikipedias
Simple English: The Internet Protocol is a set of rules for sending information between computers on the Internet. [→]
English: The Internet Protocol (IP) is the principal communications protocol used for relaying datagrams (packets) across an internetwork using the Internet Protocol Suite. [→]
“Verlaat u het voortuig? Vergeet niet uit te checken en de volgende hinderlijke...”
1 tag
“Deze applicatie is alleen toegankelijk met Microsoft Internet Explorer.”
October 2011
21 posts
“I bet there’s a bad bat in my bed.”
– Owing the similarities between the voiced and voiceless bilabial plosives and the voiced and voiceless alveolar plosives in Dutch, one might say that this phrase is… unDutchable.
“If I was a woman, [that guy would have got me so] pregnant [at the weekend]”
– My manager
1 tag
Weird experience on the IJveer over to Centraal Station today. One guy started whistling ‘The Emperor’s Theme’ and, by the time we’d reached CS, half the ferry was whistling along.
2 tags
“I once had a mailorder to the UK which was to something like “1 Church...”
– My manager
“Unlike many other operating systems, almost all variants of Linux and Unix come...”
2 tags
I just spent thirty minutes cycling around central and outer-central Amsterdam trying to find a bike shop and …fuck all. There was one, but it didn’t have disc brake pads; any disc brake pads, or disc brakes; must be considered too faffy here. But seriously: trying to find a bicycle shop here is a lot more difficult than you would think in the capital of bikes that is Amsterdam.
“I see one. He’s a old guy [but] he looks fisty.”
– My manager, Nelson
“Religion and logic go together like ice cream and horse shit”
– Rockstar Ryan